Five Things I’ve Struggled With as a First-Generation Homeschool Mom

I was a public school kid. I can remember growing up and meeting a couple of homeschooled kids who only came to the school for sports or state testing and thinking, “That’s got to be so weird…” Little did I know that that “weird” would become a top priority of mine for my own kids, and now we fully embrace the weirdness.

But being a first-generation homeschool mom has definitely come with its challenges. There is no blueprint, no perfect way of doing it, no curriculum that fits perfectly for every kid, and you definitely get asked a lot of prying questions when you are the first ones in your family to ever homeschool.

Yet what a beautiful thing it is to witness the millions of families quickly turning to homeschool today. I can’t imagine what it would have been like to homeschool just a decade or so ago, before co-ops became as popular, resources became so available, and homeschooling became more “normalized” or “accepted” in society.

Still, I figured I would share five things I have struggled with as a first-generation homeschool mom so that any moms out there facing these struggles know they aren’t alone. Just like most things in parenting, homeschooling takes a village. And I’d love to welcome you into this one.

Curriculum Junkie
Homeschooling is expensive enough on its own, yet I tend to go the “extra mile” because it can take so long to figure out what curriculum is right for my child. And even when you do find one you love, your season of life may change and that curriculum may no longer work.

Every single year since we started, I have tried new curriculum options as I’ve researched and honed in on our education values while figuring out what works best for my kids. This year, once again, my curriculum is changing. I am very optimistic, though, and feel like the direction we are moving this year may be the version that sticks. We will see!

But if you too have battled with being indecisive about curriculums, I feel you. It’s an expensive curiosity and learning curve. Our local Wild + Free co-op does a yearly curriculum review where moms bring all their materials to show, and that has helped a lot in being able to review curriculums without buying them. So I recommend doing something similar with your co-op if you are in one!

My Own Impatience
Parenting humbles you in so many ways as you unlearn traumas from your childhood and grow as a mother. Add in homeschooling, and you get smacked in the face daily with an area in yourself that needs work.

For me, it’s my impatience. I have to remind myself that the point of homeschooling is to allow my child to learn at her pace, not on my timeline. Anytime I find myself getting impatient with her, it stems from my own inconveniences and expectations, it has nothing to do with how well she is doing with her work.

She is a brilliant child. I just need to slow down and allow her that space. This is something I am working on in many areas of my life.

Overextending Myself
I have major people-pleasing tendencies, which has put me in very stressful situations of being overbooked and overstimulated because I would say yes to everything.

New co-ops, all the field trips, extra nature walks, constant playdates… while these things are great, there is such a thing as doing too much. I have learned this the hard way, but I am fortunate to have learned it while my kids are still very young.

I am very much looking forward to our ONE co-op next year that meets twice a month and embracing more of the homebody style of homeschooling. I have finally learned how to say “no,” but I still internally cringe every single time.

Putting School Before Prayer
Often I find myself wanting to crank out school so we can jump into the next things that need to get done that day. I do this purely out of my own impatience again.

Yet I find that our homeschool days are much calmer and more productive when we start with prayer first and remain rooted in Christ throughout the day. So we are building the habit of prayer every morning before we begin our school day.

Being Too Hard on My Daughter
I see so much of my daughter in myself. And because I am naturally hard on myself, this makes me harder on her than my other two kids.

It’s something I am actively working on, but it has definitely led to arguments when she isn’t doing her work correctly, especially if I know she knows how to do it.

Instead, I’ve started reminding her, and myself, that mistakes mean you’re learning. She can take her time and make as many mistakes as she needs until she gets it right because, at the end of the day, I am the only one who sees her work. What matters most to me is making sure she fully understands what she is learning.

We are all human, and homeschooling is HARD. These are only five of my struggles, there are many more. I am still learning. But I am beyond thankful for the opportunity to homeschool and the time it gives me back with my kids.

What are some things you’ve struggled with when beginning to homeschool? And if anyone here was raised as a homeschooler, what advice can you provide?